ok

again, ok.

there is order in chaos.
life emerges from something that seems to be unconscious and unliving.
this apparently unliving substrate in which you live is not at all unconscious or unliving .

now, you ignore what anger might come your way, even though the earth is crying  -
screaming like a stuck pig, as my father used to say.

now, we judge what ever comes our way, and we ask "will this serve me?"  
what?
...serve me>serve me... serve me? serve me, now.
what?

This is insane - sanity replaced by self-interest.
but self-interest is so deceptive - self-deceptive,
as self-deceptive as any insanity is.

now,
you
won't
reply
to this.

now,
now
this
is.

this
is
this.

now, this is not a tautology.
actually, it's a lie.
the "nature" of syntax speaks an ambiguity in our language-intoxicated minds.
the second "this" is not the first "this."
therefore, it must not be the same.
or is it?
you think it is, but you know it's not.
you know it is, but you think it's not.

this is
not this.

this seems like it must be the lie, but it's not.
ignore this ":reality."

ignore this.
ignore this this.
ignore this "this."
ignore "this."